WK1

So WK1 is a cute, pixie-like sporty blonde (love my cute pixie-like sporty blondes!) that I work with. She is from the States and is working with us only for a few more months, likely.

I asked her out for lunch on monday and we went to a pretty nice sushi place nearby. I work in a weird area. It's mostly a residential area way out in the middle of nowhere, but there is a "commercial" intersection nearby with a grocery store, a McDonalds, Wendy's, St-Hubert...basically a buncha fast food in this sort of low rent area. And for some reason someone opened a nice fancy sushi restaurant in the middle of it. Not expensive, just fancy.

We went and had lunch. We don't have a huge heap in common. But she smiles a lot, and laughs sometimes even when I am actually trying to be funny. She is pretty cute, but I think she is a bit young (somewhere between 24-28 I am guessing). My pickings at work are pretty slim, not because there are no women I find attractive; quite to the contrary, I work with many beautiful women, which is a bit odd because I work in a scientific facility. Unfortunately, I am a little cautious about dating at work, as I said, and the vast majority of them are already dating someone or are married.

We talked movies a lot. TV. Softball (she plays softball - and I love to play baseball). Athletic women are a big turn on to me. I can't stand the princess type. If you spent too long doing your nails, or your favorite pasttime is the hunt for new shoes, then I will likely not be interested.

Anyway I like WK1. She is sweet. She is cute. She is smart. What's not to like? But if she is leaving to go back home at the end of this month or november at the latest then what is the point? Also, I am also not sure she is into me at all.

One of the problems with depression is that I often misinterpret people in a negative way. Meaning you might just be thinking and I will be concerned that I said something wrong, or that you are not into me, or you don't like me. I am working on this, so when I say "I am not sure she is into me at all" it might just be me catastrophizing things, or she could really not be into me.

Doesn't matter. I figure she is leaving anyway, and she is nice to talk to, so I might as well keep hanging out with her some.

I saw her on the bus tonight and we talked about the Dark Knight and Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (oh yeah - and Mama Mia). The only one I have seen is DK (so damn good).

I figure I'll keep being friendly and jovial, talkative and nice and we'll see if anything happens.

See? That last sentence bothers me. I too often see these fucking gino/chav-type greaseball asshole guys with some fantastic women, so is it true what they say? That women like a man who treats them like shit? Cause I don't think I can do that. I grew up with 2 older sisters and no brothers. I like and respect women. I listen to women. Maybe that's why I often get the "friend"role which I hate so much. Friends need sex too dammit!

Sort of reminds me of 10 years ago and that bitch that I loved. I remember her choosing another guy over me (she did this several times - I was in love and remarkably stupid - and she was remarkably evil). This guy that she chose over me had once told his friends "If you need a quick fuck, just go ahead and see her" and she chose HIM over ME?!?

Nice guys really do finish last, I'm thinking. So where does that leave me? I just don't think I can be an asshole.

Fuck.