Romantic Notions

I think I read too many fantasy books growing up. I still have all these romantic notions of finding love, of finding that one true person, "the one" (and I don't mean Neo - Keanu is such a shit actor - don't get me started).

My head tells me that "the one" is a ridiculous notion dreamed up by romantic poets and greeting card companies. That it's a stupid dream. That I need to find a woman I can get along with and build a life with, and maybe love. That being with someone who is not "the one" is better than being alone. That if you try and find "the one" you will end up alone. My head is pretty cynical. Maybe pretty realistic. Maybe my head is an adult.

My heart tells me "fuck that noise". What use is being with someone you don't love? To just go through the day-to-day motions in order to avoid being alone, when you can be swept away with the right person. To stare into her eyes and feel your hearts touch. To kiss her lips and feel your souls soar. To make love to her and feel the earth move, the heaven's part and the heavenly choir sing. To get lost in her mind, body and soul and never try to find the way out because of the joy you find there.


So where does that leave me? My heart and mind are constantly at odds. As Wang Chi said "My mind and my spirit are goin' north and south." Guess I can't slice a bottle. It really fucking bugs me that I can't seem to give up on my romantic notions. It would probably make my life a lot easier if I just turned my back on all of that, find someone "good enough" and just went on with my life rather than drive myself insane trying to search for the love of my life.

One thing is for sure. I'm an idiot.